


Fifty Five Nights at Freddy's [CANCELLED]

by TheHybridChangeling



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Action/Adventure, Comedy, Gen, Mild Gore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-07-15 22:06:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 17,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7240315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHybridChangeling/pseuds/TheHybridChangeling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike Schmidt, a guy down on his luck, takes a job as a night guard at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Little did he know, he would be fighting the monstrous animatronics night after night, each time more grueling than the last.</p><p>That is, until he got used to it...</p><p>[This story is no longer ongoing.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Night 1 - A Horrible Surprise

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**Click.**

 

_"Hello, hello? Uh, I wanted to record a message for you to help you get settled in on your first night,"_ spoke the voice from the phone. _"Um, I actually worked in that office before you. I'm finishing up my last week now, as a matter of fact. So, I know it can be a bit overwhelming, but I'm here to tell you there's nothing to worry about. Uh, you'll do fine. So, let's just focus on getting you through your first week. Okay?"_ Mike yawned and stretched before adjusting his chair.

"Oh _yeah_ ," Mike muttered spitefully, "sitting here doing fuck all is _so_ overwhelming."

_"Uh, let's see,"_ the recording continued, _"first there's an introductory greeting from the company that I'm supposed to read. Uh, it's kind of a legal thing, you know."_

"Seriously? Dammit, as if this job wasn't shit enough..." Mike rolled his eyes as the message droned on.

_"...Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced."_

"'Death'? Seriously?" Mike tutted. "Only harmful thing in here is that pig shit they call pizza..."

_" Uh, the animatronic characters here do get a bit quirky at night, but do I blame them? No. If I were forced to sing those same stupid songs for twenty years and I never got a bath? I'd probably be a bit irritable at night too."_

"...And he's one of _those_ guys, great!" Mike sighed before sipping his coffee. He took a deep whiff of it before setting it down in a futile attempt to mask the smell of sweat and old cheese that the entire building stank of.

_"So, just be aware, the characters do tend to wander a bit. Uh, they're left in some kind of free roaming mode at night. Uh...Something about their servos locking up if they get turned off for too long. Uh, they used to be allowed to walk around during the day too. But then there was The Bite of '87. Yeah. I-It's amazing that the human body can live without the frontal lobe, you know?"_ Mike froze.

"Wait, what?"

_"Uh, now concerning your safety, the only real risk to you as a night watchman here, if any, is the fact that these characters, uh, if they happen to see you after hours probably won't recognize you as a person."_

"Wait! Fuck!" Mike pulled up the live camera feeds on the computer on his desk. He quickly clicked through them all, but everything seemed to be as it was when he'd come in.

_"They'll, uh, most likely see you as a metal endoskeleton without its costume on. Now since that's against the rules here at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza, they'll probably try to... forcefully stuff you inside a Freddy Fazbear suit. Um, now, that wouldn't be so bad if the suits themselves weren't filled with crossbeams, wires, and animatronic devices, especially around the facial area. So, you could imagine how having your head forcefully pressed inside one of those could cause a bit of discomfort... and death."_

"W-What the fuck?!"

_"Y-Yeah, they don't tell you these things when you sign up. But hey, first day should be a breeze. I'll chat with you tomorrow. Uh, check those cameras, and remember to close the doors only if absolutely necessary. Gotta conserve power. Alright, good night."_ The long message finally ended leaving Mike in a panic.

"Wait, what?!" He cried. "No-no-no-no-no! What the fuck do I do if they find me?!" He cycled through the cameras again but this time he noticed something odd: There was no feed for the kitchen. "Dammit! Fucking Windows!" He backed out of the surveillance system and tried to access the kitchen camera directly.

Nothing happened.

"Work, dammit!" Mike shouted, slapping the computer tower before trying again.

Once again, nothing happened.

"Oh for-!" Mike struggled to resist the urge to punch the monitor. He tried a third time, this time managing to access the camera. However, the video feed was malfunctioning. " _Great!_ I'll just _listen_ for the killer robots! That's _way_ more effective than _being able to fucking see!_ " He went back to the main surveillance system, keeping the kitchen data minimized, and cycle through once again. "Alright, okay, okay, this one's fine, this is- Oh fuck!" The fugly rabbit was missing from the stage.

Suddenly, Mike heard heavy footsteps coming from the left corridor to his office. He leapt from his chair and dived to the door, punching a button next to it. A heavy security door slammed down, completely sealing the left doorway. Mike's panic didn't end there, however, as when he looked up at the window next to the door, he saw the rabbit staring through, looking right at him.

"NO, FUCK OFF!" He screamed, double-flipping the bird. He scrambled to his feet and sprinted back to his desk, checking the stage camera again. The dopey bear and the bird monster were still in their places. A quick glance to the left window let Mike know that the rabbit hadn't moved either. Before Mike could scream all the profanities his mind could provide, an error message appeared on his computer's monitor. He was running out of power!

Before Mike could properly register his power problem, loud metal thuds emanated from the thick door blocking the rabbit, as if it was trying to break through.

"FUCK!" He screamed. Each thud shook the entire room, but the door seemed to hold. Mike froze in panic. What the hell was he supposed to do in a situation like this?! How could he defend himself against that... _thing_?! The error message flashed on his screen again just before the light cut out. The door flew open and the metal monstrosity charged inside, screaming loud enough to make Mike's ears ring.

Mike screamed back. He grabbed his coffee mug and hurled it at the rabbit before running to the door on his right. He got through the doorway only to crash into the bird and fall to the floor. The bird screamed like the rabbit as they surrounded him. They towered over him like giants, blocking all escape routes. They grabbed him with an impossibly strong grip and dragged him towards the spare parts room. Mike kicked and screamed, but the monsters ignored him and continued dragging him to his fate.

Was there no way he could fight them?!

Was this it?!

Was this how he would die?!

Mike stopped fighting and accepted his fate. He closed his eyes and began to sob. There was no way out, no way to escape, no way to win. He opened his eyes as the monsters pulled him through the door to the spare parts room. An 'empty' bear suit was waiting for him. Mike's body went cold.

They dragged him closer...

Closer...

_Closer..._

Suddenly, the creatures went limp, dropping Mike. He landed roughly on his shoulder before rolling onto his back. He watched as they shook around wildly before freezing. After a few seconds of being frozen in place, the creatures stood up straight and marched robotically back to the show stage, taking their original positions.

Mike lay still, traumatized by everything that had happened. After what felt like an eternity, he shakily lifted his wrist to his face and checked his watch. Six AM. He lowered his arm and took a deep breath.

On the bright side, the place didn't stink of cheese anymore.


	2. Night 2 - The Wrath of Mike

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**Click.**

_“Uh, Hello? Hello?”_ The phone greeted. _”Uh, well, if you're hearing this and you made it to day two, uh, congrats! I-I won't talk quite as long this time since Freddy and his friends tend to become more active as the week progresses. Uh, it might be a good idea to peek at those cameras while I talk just to make sure everyone's in their proper place, you know…”_

Mike listened to the recording as he inserted a disk into the computer on his desk. He didn’t bother looking at the cameras and quickly but calmly began installing the disk’s data.

After the absolute horror of his first night had worn off, Mike had become angry. He was _already_ struggling in life and after he _finally_ managed to get a job, he was attacked by robots! Well he wasn’t going to take it! This was _his_ job! No robot could take that away from him!

Mike wasn’t very smart.

However, he was smart enough to do some research before coming back to work. He had looked into the history of Freddy Fazbear’s, and he’d found something very interesting indeed: In the year 1987, a man by the name of Jeremy Fitzgerald did an interview which was released in local newspapers.

The interview went into details of his experience as a night guard at a Fazbear establishment. After answering some of the simpler questions, the interviewer about some of the dark rumours about the animatronics, most likely as a joke to end the interview on, but Jeremy had a lot to talk about.

Jeremy went on and on about how the animatronics tried to kill him every night, how he barely managed to defend himself with a few tricks and how his manager tried to pay him for his silence. He explained how the animatronics only started acting weird at midnight and by six AM they went back to their usual behaviour. Unsurprisingly, nobody took him seriously and his name became a joke. A year after the interview, he seemed to have disappeared.

Mike had arrived at the restaurant a couple of hours early and, using the information he’d gathered, set up a few defenses. He’d also brought a bag of tools and supplies as well as a disk with some simple software to improve the camera feedback and allow him to activate some of his defenses from inside the office.

 _“I-I also want to emphasize the importance of using your door lights”_ the recording continued. _“There are blind spots in your camera views, and those blind spots happen to be right outside of your doors...”_

As that was said, Mike loaded the feed of the cameras in question. He’d placed mirrors throughout the building that allowed him to see the blind spots on the cameras.

_“Also, check on the curtain in Pirate Cove from time to time. The character in there seems unique in that he becomes more active if the cameras remain off for long periods of time. I guess he doesn't like being watched. I don't know. Anyway, I'm sure you have everything under control! Uh, talk to you soon.”_

“Shit, there’s a fourth?” Mike muttered. “That might make things awkward. Hopefully the defenses I already have should be enough…” He glanced at the clock. “Midnight.” He took a deep breath. “It begins.”

* * *

Bonnie awoke.

Darkness had spread across the pizzeria as the night had overthrown the day.

Bonnie grinned.

It was time to kill a night guard.

He took a step forward and-

“Shit!”

-Fell straight to the floor was a crash. Bonnie looked at his legs to see they’d been chained together. He tore the chain away with a single swipe and growled. It must have been that damn night guard! Oh, he’d regret doing _that_!

Bonnie climbed to his feet and marched down the stage stairs, only to slip in the cooking oil on the steps and smash into the table nearest to the stairs.

“Son of a-!” Bonnie shouted through closed teeth.

“Oi, Bonnie,” called Foxy, peeking out from behind his curtain, “keep it down! We’ll be more spooky if we’re quiet!”

“That asshole of a guard’s boobytrapped the place!” Bonnie replied angrily as he put the table back.

“Then be more careful when you- Shit! Camera!” Foxy quickly got into a more spooky pose and stopped moving as the camera near him lit up. He stayed like that for a few moments before the camera turned off, then went sprinting down the hallway to Mike’s office.

* * *

Mike noticed that the rabbit seemed to be talking to something in the room, but he couldn’t quite hear what it was saying. He flicked to a camera near where he was looking and saw the fourth animatronic; it looked like some kind of fox or coyote.

It quickly noticed the camera and posed in a spooky position.

 _Hmm… From that angle I might be able to see it from the camera outside my left door…_ Mike thought. He switched to the camera and saw the fox sprinting towards the door.

Mike screamed and quickly slammed the light button by the door. Instead of just activating the normal door light, he’d altered it to also activate an LED light at the end of the hallway. He immediately heard a cry of pain from the bright light in the fox’s eyes, followed by-

“FUCK!”

-As it tripped over the tripwire.

* * *

Chica awoke to the sounds of Foxy screaming. She looked around the room and spotted Bonnie adjusting tables.

“What the hell’s going on?” She asked.

“The night guard’s being an asshole!” Shouted Bonnie.

“What do you mean? What’s he doing?” Chica went to walk over to him, but failed to notice the chains around her legs. “Shit!”

“ _That!_ ”

“Dammit, let’s just do that thing we did yesterday!” She growled. Bonnie nodded and they headed down their hallways. On his way to the door, Bonnie saw Foxy rolling around, rubbing his eye and moaning.

“What’s wro-?” Bonnie tried to ask before also being blinded. “Ah! Fucking-!” Before he could finish, he stumbled into the tripwire and crashed to the ground next to Foxy.

* * *

Mike had managed to blind the rabbit, but the bird was coming for him the other way. He fumbled around with his duffle bag and pulled out a few tools.

* * *

Chica burst through the security door, screaming at the ni-

“Wait, where is he?” She asked herself.

“GET ROASTED, DUCK!” The guard screamed, diving at her from behind and ramming a stun gun into her neck. Chica froze as thousands of volts surged through her system, locking up her servos.

“I’m… A… Chicken…” She forced out as she fell to the floor.

* * *

Mike exhaled. The bird (apparently a chicken and not a duck as he’d first thought) was lying still.

“That just leaves the bear…” He muttered. He checked his watch. Five AM. Still an hour to go.

* * *

Freddy awoke and-

“Wait,” he said, looking at his body, “what the hell?” He had been completely chained up and could bear-ly move. He looked around, but couldn’t see any of his friends.

“Well, well, well,” said Mike walking to his front from behind him, “Mr bear guy. We meet at last.” Freddy started screaming in a poor attempt to scare him away, but instead caused Mike to whack him across the face with a crowbar.

“Ow! Fucking-! What the fuck, you dickhead?!” Freddy shouted. Mike pointed the crowbar at Freddy’s face menacingly.

“You listen here, you fluffy sack of shit,” Mike growled, “this is _my_ pizzeria now. If you or any of your asshole friends attack me or get me fired again, I’ll rip you to fucking pieces. Understood?”

“You fool! You think a pathetic being like _you_ is gonna stop us? We-!” Freddy was interrupted by another smack with the crowbar.

“Shut up, bear guy! You don’t have rights!”

“My name is Freddy, you fucking idiot!”

“Oh yeah? Well guess what, _Freddy_?”

“What?!” The sound of a grandfather clock rang through the building as it hit six AM. “Oh, you son of a-!” Freddy shut down.

Mike cheered, doing a small victory dance.

“That’s what you fucking _get_!” He shouted in the deactivated face of Freddy. “Alright, now to clean this shit up before management gets here…”

Though Mike had won and revenge was his; he’d just declared war.


	3. Night 3 - War

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**Click.**

_''Hello, hello?”_ Began the recording. _”Hey you're doing great! Most people don’t last this long. I mean, you know, they usually move on to other things by now. I'm not implying that they died. Th-th-that’s not what I meant. Uh, anyway I better not take up too much of your time. Things start getting real tonight.”_

Mike had no idea how true that statement was. He sat in his chair and checked his supplies as the message played, much, much calmer than the night before.

“Those robots will _never_ mess with me after what I put them through yesterday,” Mike muttered to himself. He laughed a little. “Even if they _do_ try something, I’ll just stop them again!”

_“Um... Ok, I'll leave you to it. See you on the flip side.”_

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Mike mumbled. “No point in checking the cameras, I was just at the stage tying their legs back up.” He sighed. “I guess I may as well, not much else to do.” Mike loaded up the camera feed of the show stage to have a look at the main three animatronics.

They were all gone.

“Oh fuck…!” Mike flicked through the cameras until he saw the fox sprinting down the hallway to his left. Mike slammed his hand onto the light button, activating the LED light in the hallway.

* * *

Foxy sprinted down the hallway, this time ready for the light. As soon as it switched on, he stopped, held up a pirate sword he’d picked up from backstage and reflected the light into the camera. After a few seconds, the light switched off and Foxy slashed at the tripwire just in front of him, cutting straight through.

“Oi, Bonnie!” He shouted back down the hallway. “It’s ye turn now!” Bonnie ran past him and made it to the doorway as it sealed.

Meanwhile, in the right hallway, Chica threw some dough from the kitchen at the other LED light, covering it up enough for her to continue without a problem. She had to slow down to carefully step over the tripwire, but continued quickly after.

* * *

Mike slammed the right security door, sealing him in the room. Both doors were now sealed, and Mike could hear something repeatedly crashing against the left door. On the right side, the chicken was slamming its fists against the window as it screamed.

“NO!” Mike screamed back. “FUCK OFF! NO ONE LIKES YOU!” He quickly reached into his bag, grabbed a handheld flashlight and shone it into the bird’s eyes. It screamed slightly louder and fell back.

Mike dropped the light and picked up his crowbar in his right hand and his stun gun in his left. He turned to the left door just as the rabbit managed to force it open with its colossal strength.

Screaming, Mike thrusted forward with the stun gun and got it stuck in the rabbit’s pelvic joint. The rabbit screamed as Mike unloaded thousands of volts into it. Its servos locked up and it fell down, paralyzed.

He had no time to recover, however, as the fox leapt over its fallen comrade and slashed Mike’s left hand with a sword, leaving a deep gash. Mike Cried out in pain and dropped the stun gun.

The fox swung at Mike’s face with sword, but Mike just barely managed to parry with his crowbar. Mike went for a slash of his own, only for the fox to parry just as well. The two crashed around the office for a while, battling sword against crowbar, until the fox managed a lucky slash at Mike’s legs, causing him to fall.

Mike landed on his back and his crowbar flew out of his grip. The fox stood still for a moment, grinning triumphantly before screaming and lunging towards him. Mike felt around for something, _anything_ , to fight back with. His fingers curled around the flashlight.

Mike wasted no time in blasting the fox’s artificial retinas with light, making the fox grab at its face in pain, trip and crash to the floor.

Suddenly, Mike heard pounding on the right-side door.

“Oh for-!” He shouted. “Fuck _this_!” He threw his stun gun, crowbar and flashlight into his bag, picked the bag up and ran away through the left door.

* * *

Chica managed to force the door open as Freddy caught up to her.

“Fucking hell...” muttered Freddy, seeing the carnage in the office: The desk was flipped, the computer was smashed to pieces, posters had been torn apart and strewn about, Bonnie was lying still on the ground and Foxy was rolling around grabbing at his own face and moaning.

“The security guard’s not here!” Shouted Chica. “What do we do _now_?!”

“Calm down, calm down. He can’t have left the building; management doesn’t give night guards any keys and locks them inside.”

“Wait, they do _what_? Why would they do that?”

“This is the company that has animatronics that are possessed by dead children with a horrible lust for blood used in public areas because they’re too cheap to buy new ones, why are you surprised?”

“But what if the guard needs to use the bathroom?” Chica asked, sounding genuinely concerned. Freddy sighed and rolled his eyes.

“They leave everything else unlocked, dummy. Why do you think we’re able to go everywhere?”

“Oh... I thought... Um... That we had super ghost powers that canceled out locks…” Chica coughed awkwardly.

“Why would that ever be a thing?!” Freddy shouted, kicking Foxy out of frustration.

“Arr!” Cried Foxy. “Feck off, ye dickhead!”

“W-Well,” started Chica, ”we have super ghost navigation skills and super ghost seeing-in-the-dark powers, so…”

“Are you-?!” Yelled Freddy. “The animatronics have maps and night vision programmed in, you moron!” He groaned and kicked Foxy again. “You know what? Forget it! Just go check if he’s hiding in the kitchen.”

“Why don’t ye look fer him with the camera system, Freddy?” Asked Foxy, still rubbing his eyes.

“Because, Foxy, _somebody_ broke the computer by _having a sword fight on top of it!_ ” Freddy yelled, kicking him again. He turned back to Chica. “Go check the kitchen, I’ll look backstage.”

* * *

Mike was hiding in the shadows of the women’s bathroom, eating bag of Doritos as quietly as he could.

“Okay, Mikey,” he whispered to himself, “you’re gonna make it through this… You may be one animatronic away from shitting your pants, but that’s okay because you’re in the bathroom… Even better, it’s the _women’s_ bathroom, so there’s more than one toilet… Which means there are no urinals… Which means the floor isn’t covered in piss…” He munched on a Dorito. “Or at least it wasn’t a few minutes ago…” He swallowed and looked at his watch.

Four AM.

* * *

Freddy rubbed his temples to try to stop the swelling of anger in his metaphorical brain.

“Chica,” he said, trying not to get angry, “shut the fuck up about how shiny pans are. Was he or wasn’t he in the kitchen?” Chica blinked.

“Who?” She asked. Freddy’s eye twitched.

“Fuck this, I’m getting Bonnie.”

“But he’s paralyzed! He can’t do anything!”

“HE’LL STILL BE BETTER THAN YOU!”

* * *

Mike looked at his watch again to see that it was 5:30. He sighed in boredom.

“Man,” he said to himself very loudly, as he sat with his head in his hands, “killer robots _suck_ at hunting people down.” He sighed. “Well, I may as well inspect the toilet mechanics while I’m in here.”

* * *

Freddy and Chica stood outside the bathrooms.

“Okay, Chica,” Freddy said slowly as to not confuse her, “these are the last two places we haven’t checked. Using basic logic, the guard _must_ be in here, understand?”

“What if he’s in the guard’s office?” Asked Chica.

“WHAT IS _WRONG_ WITH YOU?! WHY DO YOU HAVE THE MIND OF A CHILD?!”

“I am a child! We all are, remember?”

“JUST GO IN THE BATHROOM!”

“Okay! Okay!” Chica walked into the women’s bathroom as Freddy broke down the door to the men’s.

After checking the single toilet stall and finding it empty, Freddy heard Chica screaming. Freddy grinned.

“Yes!” He cheered. ”Finally!” He ran to the women’s bathroom. “Where is he?!”

“Freddy!” Chica screamed. “Look!” She pointed at the empty Doritos packet in the corner of the room. “Somebody littered!” There was a long silence.

“Chica, you mother f-!” Freddy was interrupted by the sound of, ah, _progress_ in the stall next to him. He tore the door off of its hinges and finally saw him; the night guard.

* * *

Freddy stood in front of the stall, the door torn off and thrown away. Mike screamed as the killer robot leapt towards him, letting loose its horrific scream.

**_Ding-dong! Ding-dong!_ **

Freddy froze before going limp.

**_Ding-dong! Ding-dong!_ **

He shook about like crazy for a few seconds before freezing again. After what seemed like forever, Freddy stood up straight and marched back towards the stage.

Mike gulped.

“At least I was on the toilet this time…”


	4. Night 4 - Fighting Blind

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**Click.**

 

 _“Hello, hello?”_ Asked the dented phone. _”Hey! Hey, wow, day 4. I knew you could do it._

_“Uh, hey, listen, I may not be around to send you a message tomorrow.”_

 

**_Bang!_ **

 

 _“It's-It's been a bad night here for me. Um, I-I'm kinda glad that I recorded my messages for you,”_ the recorded person cleared their throat, _“uh, when I did. Uh, hey, do me a favor.”_

 

**_Bang-bang!_ **

 

_“Maybe sometime, uh, you could check inside those suits in the back room?”_

 

**_Bang-bang!_ **

 

_“I'm gonna to try to hold out until someone checks. Maybe it won’t be so bad.”_

 

**_Bang-bang-bang!_ **

 

 _“Uh, I-I-I-I always wondered what was in all those empty heads back there.”_ More background noise could be heard; a music box-like version of March of the Toreadors. _“You know-”_ Screaming and moaning cut him off. _“Oh n-!”_ He was cut off again by crashing sounds before static as the recording ended.

Mike sat on the floor of the security office, desperately trying to fix the computer. He’d convinced management that the computer breaking was the day guard’s fault, but in the end they decided not to fire anybody. They were too cheap to replace the computer, however.

“Come on, you piece of shit!” Mike yelled through clenched teeth as he jabbed the computer tower with a screwdriver. He screamed and tried smashing his head into it.

The motherboard shattered.

“Fuck!” He glanced at his watch and saw it was already past midnight. “Double fuck!” Mike got up and grabbed his bag, throwing his screwdriver inside. “This is just fan- _tas-_ tic! I have no cameras, no way to access my defenses and no way to lock the bloody doors without leaping at them!” He buried his face in his hands and sighed. “How the hell do I survive now?” He leaned back and rested against the wall behind him, almost ready to give up.

Suddenly, something behind Mike gave way, making him fall to the ground. While swearing and rubbing his sore asshole, he picked up a piece of paper that was fluttering in front of him. It was a picture drawn by one of the very few children that visited Freddy Fazbear’s.

“Must’ve been what I was leaning on that made me slip…” Mike muttered. It was an odd picture, not something he would have expected a child to draw while visiting that horrible place: Freddy Fazbear dressed as a ninja.

“What idiot kid drew _this_?” Mike asked the air. “Why would anyone think-?” Mike stopped as an idea struck him. He stood up, slowly, dropping the picture. “Yes… Yes!” Mike opened his bag and pulled out a few things.

* * *

 

Freddy awoke quickly. After checking that his legs weren’t chained, he slapped Chica and Bonnie in their faces to wake them up.

“Alright!” Freddy shouted at the two of them. “No more fucking around! This asshole’s gonna die _tonight_!”

“Yeah!” Cheered Bonnie. “Woo! Hooray!”

“Bonnie, what did I _just_ say?!”

“Asshole!” Bonnie replied happily. Freddy punched him in the gut.

“Chica, go check the bathrooms,” Freddy ordered as Bonnie lay on the floor, moaning in pain, “I doubt the guard is inside the office, so start looking around straight away.” Chica saluted.

“Sir, yes, sir, yes, sir!” She exclaimed before running off.

“If he’s not there, check the kitchen!” Freddy called after her. “Bonnie, go wake Foxy and tell him to meet me backstage. When you’ve done that, look around the guard’s office.”

“But you said he wouldn’t be there,” Bonnie wheezed, still clutching his stomach as he slowly rose from the ground, “why check the office?”

“He may be more intelligent than I suspect and could have predicted my deduction of his absence from the office.”

“I don’t know what the big words meant,” Bonnie thought aloud before getting punched again.

“Just go to the office!” Freddy yelled. “If he isn’t there, stay there anyway incase he comes back.”

“Okie dokie, mister pokey!” Bonnie wheezed as Freddy marched towards the spare parts room.

After regaining his robo-breath, Bonnie skipped towards Pirate’s Cove to talk to Foxy. He pulled back the curtain and saw Foxy standing in his usual position, seemingly asleep.

“Hey, Foxy!” Bonnie called cheerily. “It’s past midnight! It’s time to harass and/or murder people!” Foxy didn’t move. Bonnie scratched his head in confusion. “Foxy?” Bonnie reached out and poked Foxy on the forehead. Foxy fell back onto the floor with a crash, his servos completely locked up. “W-Wha-?”

Before he could even finish asking the air for answers, a dark figure leapt from the shadows and rammed a stun gun into the small of Bonnie’s back. He screamed as electricity surged through him, locking him up.

As Bonnie fell to the ground, Mike silently jumped back into the shadows at the edge of the room and crept towards the kitchen, arriving just as Chica skipped through the doors. Mike rolled through before they closed and, once again, used his stun gun in the small of the back. She screeched, locked up and fell to the ground just like Bonnie.

Mike wasted no time sneaking over to the spare parts room. He quickly spotted Freddy facing away from the door, crept over to him and jammed his stun gun into the small of Freddy’s back.

Nothing happened.

“Wait,” muttered Mike, completely confused, “what the hell?” Suddenly, something smashed into the back of Mike’s head, knocking him to the ground and sending the stun gun flying across the room. Before his head could stop spinning enough for him to get up or run, an enormous hand grabbed him by the neck, lifted him into the air and turned him around, making him face to face with the real Freddy.

“Well, well, well,” mocked Freddy as he held Mike in the air, “Mr night guard. We meet at last.” Mike started flailing in a poor attempt to escape, but instead caused Freddy to punch him in the gut, winding him. “What? No complaint of pain or insult? You disappoint me.” Mike was coughing hard. Freddy narrowed his eyes and tightened his grip.

“I should kill you like this,” he growled, “choke you out slowly, make you suffer. Sadly, there’s no… _clean_ way for that without management giving up the excuse about the endoskeletons. Then we’d be thrown away, dropped off in some dump somewhere, left to die a second time.”

“Y-You’re trying to make me pity you now?” Mike coughed out angrily. “You and your _‘friends’_ kill anyone who works the night shift! You’re a load of monsters!” Freddy frowned deeper.

“Don’t hold it against us,” he replied, “you don’t know what we’ve been through.”

“No, but I know what you’re _gonna_ go through!” Mike pulled his flashlight out of his pocket and blasted Freddy’s retinas with light. Freddy screamed and dropped him, grabbing at his face in pain.

Too breathless to stand, Mike crawled as fast as he could towards his stun gun. He reached out for it and-

“NO!” Screamed Freddy, grabbing Mike’s leg. He hurled Mike across the room, sending him flying through the air until he crashed into a wall. Mike landed on the floor roughly but noticed something land next to him. He looked sideways and saw his bag; its contents spilled out onto the floor.

Mike reached out and grabbed his crowbar before shakily climbing to his feet.

“What?!” Yelled Freddy. “How the fuck can you still be standing after all of this?!”

“S-Shut up, bear guy!” Mike yelled back, brandishing his crowbar like a sword. “You don’t have rights!” Freddy screamed and sprinted towards Mike, who dodged out of the way and smacked him across the back of the head.

As Freddy fell down, Mike stumbled out of the doorway and towards the office. It took no time for Freddy to run after him and very quickly catch up to him. In a desperate attempt to slow him down, Mike threw his crowbar at Freddy, but Freddy caught it with ease and threw it away.

Luckily for Mike, it distracted Freddy enough to make him trip over the tripwire and crash to the ground. Mike slipped into the office and hit the door button, but he was too late: Freddy grabbed the door before it could full close and pulled it back open.

Mike hit the light button, blinding Freddy as he entered the office. Mike ran out the other door, hitting the button before he went through. The door sealed, slowing Freddy down for a few more seconds.

Taking a sharp right, Mike entered the kitchen. He jumped over Chica’s body and pulled open a cupboard door before climbing inside. He pulled the door shut just as Freddy crashed into the kitchen. Freddy stopped, panting his robo-breath, and looked around.

Other than the usual disgusting mess and rotten food as well as the paralyzed moron, nothing seemed disturbed.

“Oh, _night guard_ ,” Freddy sang mockingly, “where _are_ you?” He wandered around the kitchen, pulling open different cupboards and having quick looks inside. Mike took a chance and tried to sneak out of the kitchen when he could hear Freddy was across the room, but Freddy spotted him quickly. He screamed and the chase was back on.

Mike weaved through tables in the dining area, making Freddy have to slow down to keep up. After making it past the tables, Mike made the final sprint back to the spare parts room, bashed through the door and made a final leap for his stun gun. His fingers curled around it as Freddy leapt at him.

Mike rolled to his front and jabbed with his stun gun as Freddy reached him. It connected to Freddy’s right wrist and the electricity unloaded into him.

Mike and Freddy screamed together for what seemed like eternity before Freddy froze up and fell to the floor.

They were all down.

Mike had won.

Bear-ly.


	5. Night 5 - Day Of Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fifth night at Freddy's.

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**Click.**

_“Hello, hello?”_ Greeted the phone. “ _Uh, what on earth are you doing there? Didn’t you get the memo? Uh, the place is closed down, a-at least for a while. Someone used one of the suits. We had a spare in the back, a yellow one, someone used it. Now none of them are acting right…”_

“Wait, what?” Mike asked, looking to the phone in confusion.

_“Listen j-just finish your shift, i-it’s safer than trying to leave in the middle of the night. Uh we have one more event scheduled for tomorrow, a birthday. You’ll be on day shift, wear your uniform, stay close to the animatronics, make sure they don’t hurt anyone okay? For now just make it through the night. When the place eventually opens again I’ll probably take the night shift myself. Okay, goodnight and good luck.”_

For a moment, Mike was worried but he quickly shrugged it off and continued preparing.

The computer had finally been replaced but Mike already knew it wouldn’t be enough. He’d decided to expand on the idea he’d had yesterday and had brought with him a very cheap ninja costume, a small bag of fridge magnets, a second crowbar and, of course, the rest of his usual stuff.

“He must just be delusional,” Mike muttered to himself as he put on his ninja costume. “It sounded like he tripped over a music box or some shit yesterday, probably concussed himself, fuckin’ idiot. I’m glad I’m not an idiot like he is, I’m _way_ too smart to do some stupid shit like that. There we go…” Mike finished dressing up like a ninja and stuck the two crowbars up his sleeves.

* * *

 Freddy quickly shook his head as he woke up.

“Alright!” He shouted. “Clearly you two are too stupid to catch this guy!” Bonnie and Chica didn’t hear, too caught up in their intense game of Jenga. “I’m gonna need help from **Him**.”

“Ye mean me, Fred?” Called Foxy from his curtain.

“Not you, you moron!” Freddy yelled back. “The ominous **Him**!”

“I’m not sure who ye speakin’ of!”

“Stop eavesdropping on my monologue, asshole!” Freddy turned back to Bonnie and Chica. “I heard the night guard say that Jenga wasn’t a real artform.” The two of them gasped and turned to face Freddy, their faces filled with the purist of rage.

“LET’S KILL THAT BASTARD!” Screamed Chica, leading the way as her and Bonnie charged towards the office.

“Okay, that’ll keep them busy for a while,” murmured Freddy before walking to the kitchen.

* * *

 “FOR THE LAST TIME,” Mike screamed at the locked doors Bonnie and Chica were beating their fists against, “I DIDN’T SAY SHIT ABOUT JENGA!” The two continued screaming incoherently.

Mike was leaning against the left side door in a desperate attempt to keep it closed, but the right side door was starting to creep upwards. He grabbed his stun gun from the table.

“YOU WANNA DANCE?!” Mike screamed. “FINE! LET’S FUCKING DANCE!” He elbowed the button behind him and slipped behind Bonnie as he charged into the office before easily sticking his stun gun into the small of Bonnie’s back and taking him out. The right door opened as Mike threw a few fridge magnets like shuriken. They stuck to her legs and caused her circuitry to malfunction for a second, making her trip and fall face first onto the ground. Mike leapt over Bonnie and stuck his stun gun into Chica’s neck.

Having barely caught his breath, Mike glanced over to the computer to see Foxy sprinting to the office. He spun to face the door just as Foxy leapt at him, flailing his arms around as he held two pirate swords. Mike raised his forearms in defense and blocked each swing safely thanks to the crowbars.

Foxy let up for a second, giving Mike a chance to grab his mug from his desk and throw it. It bounced harmlessly off of Foxy’s chest, but distracted him for long enough so Mike could grab his flashlight and blast Foxy’s face.

“AGH!” Foxy screamed, dropping one of his swords and grabbing at his eye. “Ye bloody bilge rat!” He flipped up his eye patch to see out of a usable eye and quickly raised his remaining sword to block the next blast of light. The light reflected off of the sword into Mike’s eyes.

“SHIT!” Mike screamed, grabbing at his face.

“YEAH, IT BLOODY HURTS, DOESN’T IT?”

Mike replied by smacking Foxy in the face with the flashlight.

Foxy made a solid argument by punching Mike in the stomach.

Mike refuted the argument with a swift kick to Foxy’s robo-dick.

Foxy cut Mike’s left pinky finger off.

“ ** _HOLY FUCKING SHIT!_ ** ” Mike bellowed, blood spurting out of his hand.

“Alright,” said Foxy as Mike ran screaming around the office, “I might’ve taken it a wee bit far. Sorry about that, matey.”

“ ** _YOU CUT MY FUCKING FINGER OFF, YOU BASTARD!_ ** ”

“Aye,” Foxy nodded, “but now I be apologising. I admit I went too far. Mike, today I learned a lesson in friendship. Just because ye be a killer robot pirate, it doesn’t mean that ye can do whatever ye want. Ye’ve got to respect people, otherwise ye can’t make friends. Do ye see what I’m saying, matey?”

“ ** _OH GOD, I’VE GOTTA STOP THE BLEEDING!_ ** ”

“Good! Now that we be friends, let’s decide on our super special friend rules! What should our first one be?”

“ ** _THERE’S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!_ ** ”

“I know! What about ‘as friends, we be not allowed to sue each other for assault’? I think it be a mighty fine rule.”

“ ** _I’M SEEING PURPLE!_ ** ”

* * *

 Freddy sat in front of a demonic circle of pizza surrounded by candles and began chanting an ancient and evil spell:

**_“Half a pound of tuppenny rice,_ **

**_Half a pound of treacle,_ **

**_That’s the way the money goes,_ **

**_POP GOES THE WEASEL!”_ **

A cloud of red something-or-other exploded in the center of the circle. The sound of a deep, evil breathing filled the room as the air turned icy and the little light provided by the candles vanished as they extinguished. In mere moments that felt like hours, the smoke cleared, revealing **Him**.

 **He** turned to face Freddy and uttered the first words since he left the realm of really shitty pizza.

“Yo, Babe, ‘sup?” **He** asked.

“Don’t call me Babe,” Freddy replied. “There’s a new nightguard that refuses to die. He fights back and managed to find our weakness to electricity. I need **You** to take him out for good.” **He** grinned and nodded happily.

“Aight, Babe, **I** got this.”

“Don’t call me Babe.”

 **He** did the Hokey Pokey and slipped into the spectral realm before flying towards the guards office. He shook it all about and came back to the physical realm to find…

“Sho,” slurred Mike as he waved the half empty rum bottle about, “you’re, like, a dead kid from decades ago or some shit, yeah?”

“Aye, matey,” Foxy replied, hiccuping.

“How doesh that even… What...?”

“Arr, it’sh shimple,” Foxy slurred back, waving his own rum bottle about, “there wash thish guy, shee, and he had thish weird shkin condition or shome shit ‘caushe his shkin wash all purple, and he fuckin’... shtuck a knife in me chest a bunch of timesh and I wash like ‘that’sh not where the knife goesh, you fuckin’ idiot, you gotta cut the cake’ but he jusht kept shticking it in me chesht...”

“But that doeshn’t-” Mike coughed into his hand which he’d bandaged up with his ninja mask. “That doeshn’t make sense though… How does being shtabbed make you all piratey and roboty and shit?”

“It’sh ‘caushe of thish puppet fucker callin’ himshelf-” Foxy stopped talking when he noticed **Him** sitting across the room. “Oh, shit…”

Just then, Freddy jumped into the room.

“ALRIGHT, YOU FUCKER, NOW YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH-! Foxy, what the fuck are you doing?” Freddy asked as he spotted Foxy sitting next to Mike, both leaning against the wall. “Why aren’t you killing him?!”

“We’re, fuckin’, besht budsh now or shome shit!” Foxy exclaimed happily, throwing his arm across Mike’s shoulders.

“How the fuck did this even happen?!” Freddy kept screaming. “How the fuck did you even get drunk?! We’re _literally_ robots!”

“Babe, don’t tell me you haven’t figured out how to use the ghost power of alcoholism,” **He** interrupted.

“Don’t call me Babe!” Freddy shouted. ”And we don’t have fucking ghost powers! Why do you idiots keep saying this shit?!”

“Calm down, Babe,” **He** replied coolly. “You gotta relax more.”

“DON’T CALL ME BABE!”

“Hey, Boxy, or whatever your name is,” **He** said, ignoring Freddy, “pass that shit.” **He** Hokey Pokey’d over to them and snatched Foxy’s rum.

“Sho what were you shaying about that puppet?” Mike asked Foxy as **He** chugged rum.

“You know what?” Freddy asked nobody (the amount of people listening to him). “You’re clearly too drunk to defend yourself. I’ll just kill you now.” Freddy took a step forward but had to stop when Foxy leapt at him and stuck a sword in his belly. “HOLY SHIT! FOXY, WHAT THE FUCK?!”

Foxy gurgled something about friendship and lawsuits before throwing up on Freddy’s feet. **He** and Mike laughed as Freddy felt his anger reach the boiling point. Suddenly, he felt calm.

“You know what?” Freddy asked a second time. “I don’t need to kill you to get rid of you.” He reached down to Mike’ bag, searched through it until he found a camera, snapped a picture, plugged it into the office computer and emailed the picture to Mike’s supervisor.

* * *

 Mike looked down at the pink slip. He’d been fired for drinking during work hours.

“Well, shit,” Mike muttered. “ _Now_ what do I do?”

“Hey, I’ve got an idea!” **He** replied.


	6. Night 6 - A Change Of Scenery

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**Click.**

 

_“Uh, hello?”_ The phone asked. _”Hello, hello? Uh, hello and welcome to your new summer job at the new and improved Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Uh, I'm here to talk you through some of the things you can expect to see during your first week here and to help you get started down this new and exciting career path.”_

“Oh, _shit_ ,” Mike moaned, “I thought being fired meant I at least wouldn’t have to listen to _this_ asshole!”

_“Now, I want you to forget anything you may have heard about the old location, you know, uh, some people still have a somewhat negative impression of the company. That old restaurant_ was _kind of left to rot for quite a while, but I want to reassure you, Fazbear Entertainment is committed to family fun and above all, safety.”_

“Blah, blah, blah, _‘ooh, this company isn’t completely corrupt and most certainly doesn’t keep zombie children running about_ ’!” Mike mocked.

“You need to shut up and listen, Babe,” **He** replied. “If you want your old job back, you need to learn how to survive in these conditions.”

“Could you at least fast forward this idiot?” Mike asked, gesturing to the phone in front of him.

“Alright, alright,” **He** tried to reassure Mike, “I’ll skip to the important parts.” **He** did the Hokey Pokey, shook it all about and made the recording magically skip ahead.

_“So just, every once in awhile, switch over to the Prize Counter video feed and wind it up for a few seconds. It doesn't seem to affect all of the animatronics, but it does affect... one of them.”_

“Wait, shit, I think it’s too far ahead,” Mike tried to rewind the recording but nothing happened.

“Be careful what you wish for,” **He** shrugged. The recording skipped ahead some more.

_“You may have noticed there are no doors for you to close, heh. But hey, you have a light! And even though your flashlight can run out of power, the building cannot. So, don't worry about the place going dark. Well, I think that's it. Uh, you should be golden.”_

“Damn right!” **He** cheered.

_”Uh, check the lights, put on the Freddy head if you need to, uh, keep the music box wound up, piece of cake. Have a good night, and I'll talk to you tomorrow.”_ The recording ended. Mike smacked his hand against the phone randomly, but it still wouldn’t rewind.

“Well, shit,” Mike muttered. He turned to face **Him** to argue and say mean things, only to find that **He** had vanished. “Well, more shit.”

Mike was sitting in the office of an old, run down Freddy Fazbear Pizzeria. Not just any old location, however, this restaurant happened to be the same place that Jeremy, the person Mike had researched a few days ago, used to work.

The place had been left to rot; apart from the windows being boarded up, everything had been left exactly how it had been all those years ago when it had closed; old, dusty party hats sitting on tables, rotten food in the kitchen, absurd numbers of rat nests and, of course, a working fan.

It hadn’t been difficult for Mike to break in. In fact, he didn’t even have to break anything. **He** had led Mike to a dumpster at the back of the building that could be moved to reveal a secret entrance. Of course, Mike hadn’t hesitated for even a second before crawling through a dubious hole in a wall, and he very quickly found himself in the security office of the building listening to a tape that just so happened to be sitting on the desk, completely devoid of dust.

As he looked around the office trying to find **Him** , Mike suddenly heard the horribly familiar sound of heavy footsteps in the hallway. Mike dived behind the desk and pulled his stun gun out of his bag as well as a crowbar.

“What the fuck is _that_?!” Mike whisper shouted to himself. He peered over the desk and saw a more feminine version of Freddy marching down the hall. “Shit! He must’ve followed me here! And gotten a makeover or something.” Mike took a deep breath. “Getting me fired just wasn’t enough…?! Fine!”

Mike charged towards the weird Freddy, screaming a battle cry. He rolled forward as he reached Freddy, getting him past, then did an entirely unnecessary and unimpressive spin for dramatic effect before smacking the robot across the back of the head with the crowbar. Freddy stumbled slightly giving Mike the chance to jam his stun gun into his neck. Freddy thrashed about as electricity blasted through him, until eventually freezing and falling to the floor.

“Yeah!” Mike cheered. “Take that, bear guy! You can go suck my-!”

Freddy stood up.

“Well, even _more_ shit,” Mike groaned, ducking to avoid Freddy as he dived at him. Freddy rolled as he hit the floor, getting him back onto his robo-feet. He turned to face Mike and, as he got a clear view of his face, Freddy’s eyes flashed red.

Before Mike could say something stupid, Freddy dived at him again. Mike swung his crowbar as hard as he could, cracking Freddy across the head and making him fly far off course. He failed to roll this time and went crashing to the floor.

“Damn,” said Mike, “whatever you did made you a _hell_ of a lot lighter…”

Freddy seemed to be down for good this time. Mike relaxed his body, unclenched his butt and put his stun gun into his pocket before walking back to his desk. He fell back into his chair, kicked his feet up on his desk and sighed.

“Fuckin’ robots…”

* * *

 

Back at the real Freddy’s restaurant, something more dangerous and more deadly than anything Mike had faced roamed the halls.

_A health inspector._


	7. Night 7 - Soda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for taking so long.

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**Click.**

 

 _“Hello hello?”_ The phone asked. _“See? I told you you wouldn't have any problems! Did...uh... Did Foxy ever appear in the hallway? Probably not. I was just curious.”_

Mike wasn’t listening; he’d been trying and failing to set up a tripwire in the doorway while regularly dashing back to the desk to check the cameras.

 _“They tried to remake Foxy, y’know? Uh, they thought the first one was too scary, so they redesigned him to be more kid-friendly and put him in Kid's Cove. To keep the toddlers entertained, y’know. But kids these days just can't keep their hands to themselves.”_ As the phone continued, the audio became more and more distorted. _“The staff literally had to put Foxy back together after every shift. So eventually they stopped trying and left him as some 'take apart and put back together' attraction. Now he's just a mess of parts. I think the employees refer to him as just ‘The Mangle.’”_

“Shit, shit, shit…” Mike muttered continuously, trying to quietly unravel duct tape. He hadn’t heard a word of the message.

 _“Oh, hey, before I go,”_ the phone continued, the audio barely understandable by this point, _“I wanted to ease your mind about any rumors you might have heard lately. You know how these local stories come and go and seldom mean anything. I can personally assure you that, whatever is going on out there and however tragic it may be, it has nothing to do with our establishment. It's just all rumor and speculation. People trying to make a buck, y’know. Our guard during the day has reported nothing unusual and he's on watch from opening til close. Honestly, I really think he should take a day off and go to a doctor, but he loves seeing the kids enjoy themselves.”_

Finally, Mike heard something: A sound of clanging, creaking metal.

Mike quietly rushed over to his bag, pulled his shitty ninja mask he’d made out of an old shirt over his head, grabbed a crowbar and snuck back to the doorway.

_“Okay, well anyway, hang in there and I'll talk to you tomorrow.”_

Mike still wasn’t listening, but this time he had an excuse:

A mangled Foxy had grabbed him from above.

* * *

 

“Bonnie!” Freddy shouted, trying to get his attention. “Bonnie, listen to me! He’ll be here any minute! We have to get back to the stage!”

“After this level!” Bonnie cried. “I’ve been out of practice since that night guard showed up last week! Chica took my high score!”

“BONNIE, IT’S A FUCKING VENDING MACHINE!” Freddy glanced over his shoulder in fear as slow footstep began to echo down the hallway. “Oh, fuck it!” He grabbed Bonnie by the back of the head, slammed his face into the vending machine and then dragged him away toward the stage.

Freddy had just managed to get back into position when he saw the vile creature enter the room. It slithered around, stopping every once in a while to take some notes, looking at everything with a constant sneer of disgust. It was in the room for about ten minutes before finally moving towards the kitchen.

“What kind of health inspector asshole keeps coming back to take more notes?” Freddy quietly asked himself. “And why is he coming here at night?” He quickly shut up as the inspector came back into the room to continue.

* * *

 

Mike screamed as Mangle sunk his/her/their/its teeth into his right shoulder. He was dangling from the ceiling, a couple of meters off of the ground, held up by robotic claws and teeth. A smaller second head was continuously blasting garbled audio into his face.

Mike grabbed some wires hanging loose from the smaller head and yanked them out. Mangle screamed, dropping Mike.

Mike hit the floor but wasted no time in grabbing his crowbar and swinging just as Mangle swooped at him from above. The crowbar smacked her/him/them/it across the side of the head, cracking her/his/their/its outer casing slightly and making her/him/them/it fall to the floor in a heap.

“YEAH!” Mike cheered, blood pouring out of his shoulder. “SUCK MY N _UUU_ TS, YOU PIECE OF-!” Mike passed out from blood loss.

* * *

 

The inspector had finally left and Bonnie had gone back to his vending machine.

Freddy marched over to Pirate Cove and tore down the curtain.

“FOXY!” He bellowed at the large pile of empty rum bottles.

“Pish off…” The pile slurred back. “I don’ wan’ any… Jush’... No…”

“GET OUT HERE, YOU DRUNKEN ASSHOLE!” Freddy stuck his arm into the pile, grabbed Foxy by the foot and threw him out. Foxy crashed into table, tearing some of his fur.

“Ooh! Are we having a party, Freddy?!” Chica asked excitedly, skipping over to them. Freddy punched her in the face, breaking her robo-jaw.

“Guys! Guys!” Cried Bonnie. “I finally beat the game! Look at what I won!” He held up a can of soda. Freddy grabbed Bonnie’s face, tore it off and threw it at Foxy who was passed out on a party table. “OH NO, ‘Y ‘ACE!” Bonnie exclaimed. “‘O' HO’ ‘ILL I ‘RI’K ‘Y ‘ODA?!” Freddy grabbed Bonnie’s arm and tore that off too.

“GREGGY GALM GOWN!” Chica shouted, grabbing the arm in a feeble attempt to snatch it from him. Freddy tugged hard and Chica’s hands flew off.

Ignoring Chica’s screams, Freddy began beating the unconscious Foxy with the arm.

* * *

 

Two hours later, Freddy had finally tired himself out. He threw the arm over his shoulder and turned to the now very withered Bonnie and Chica.

“Okay,” Said Freddy, panting slightly. “People are getting too suspicious of this place. That’s why the inspector asshole keeps coming back; he’s trying to find a reason to shut this place down and scrap us.”

“Gug why is ghag haggening?” Asked Chica.

“We’ve killed too many night guards. There’s nobody left who doesn’t suspect things happening here. We need…” Freddy sighed. “We need the night guard from last week to come back. If he doesn’t die and tells people that nothing’s going on, it’ll lower suspicions and we might be okay.”

“‘U’ ho’ ‘o ‘e ‘in’ hi’?” Bonnie asked.

“There’s no way we can find him ourselves,” Freddy replied, “but I know **Someone** who can.”

* * *

 

Mike lay still, unconscious and bleeding out.

Odd footsteps came towards him, coming closer and closer.

It started laughing, lightly at first, but the light chuckling became roaring laughter; a pitch too high for any normal person to accomplish.

After it stopped laughing, it picked Mike up.

“Oh, I’ll have fun with _you_!” The Puppet squealed.


	8. Night 8 - It And Him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plot thickens.

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**Click.**

 

 _"Hello hello?”_ The phone began as usual.

Freddy, Foxy, Bonnie and Chica were in the guard’s office sitting around a circle of demonic pizza and candles.

_“Ok, so, uh, just to update you; there's been somewhat of an, ah, investigation going on. We may end up having to close for a few days, I don't know.”_

The four ignored the phone and began chanting the ancient and evil spell:

 

**_“Half a pound of tuppenny rice,”_ **

 

_“I want to emphasize though that it's really just a precaution.”_

 

**_“Half a pound of treacle,”_ **

 

_“Fazbear Entertainment denies any wrongdoing.”_

 

**_“That’s the way the money goes,”_ **

 

_“These things happen sometimes.”_

 

**_“POP GOES THE WEASEL!”_ **

 

Nothing happened.

“Why gign’t ig worg?” Chica tried to ask.

_“It'll all get sorted out in a few days. Just keep an eye on things and I'll keep you posted.”_

“It’s that damn phone!” Freddy shouted. “It must’ve interrupted the ritual!”

_“Just as a side note though, try to avoid eye contact with any of the animatronics tonight if you can.”_

“Oh no!” Bonnie barely managed to exclaim. “Ho’ ‘o ‘e ‘’o’ ‘ha’ e’i’ ‘ena’e?!”

 _“Someone may have tampered with their facial recognition systems, we're not sure,_ _but the characters have been acting very unusual, almost aggressive towards the staff. They interact with the kids just fine, but when they encounter an adult, they just… stare. Bill was the one who noticed it first; they-”_

Foxy slammed his robo-fist onto the phone and destroyed it.

“Let’s jus’ ge’ this over with, ye bastards!” He yelled before getting back into position. The group complied and once again chanted the evil and completely horrific spell.

A cloud of red something-or-other later, **He** appeared.

“Hey, Babes,” **He** greeted, “ **I** don’t bust, but **I** sure am a ghost! You called?”

“Don’t call us Babes,” Freddy replied. “Where’s the night guard from the other day?”

“Oh, Mike Schmidt?” **He** chuckled. “He’s having fun at the old place…”

“Wait, **You** mean the old pizzeria? Why is he _there_ of all places?”

“I’ he ‘’ayi’’ ‘’e ‘e’’i’’ ‘a’i’e ‘a’e?” Bonnie tried to ask. Genuine pain flashed across **His** face.

“Yeah, no, **I** ’m not listening to _that_ all night,” **He** grumbled. **He** held his palm up, spraying a mysterious and ghostly yellow fluid onto Bonnie and Chica. Though it appeared to be a liquid, it disappeared as it made contact with them.

“What was _that_?” Chica asked. “Hey! I can talk properly!”

“A golden shower of ghost power!” **He** exclaimed. “It’s making you talk as a spirit rather than using the animatronics’ voice boxes.”

“Alrigh’, ye booty-bodied bastard!” Foxy shouted, slurring his words slightly. “Stop going off topic! Where be Mike Schmidt?!”

“ **I** … **I** already told you…” **He** turned to Freddy. “Is he alright?”

“I don’t care,” said Freddy, “we need to hurry up. We can’t afford to waste time.”

“If you insist, Babe-”

“Don’t call me Babe.”

“-Then follow **Me**!”

* * *

 

Mike groggily opened his eyes. Wherever he was, it was too dark to see. As he sat up, he felt his shoulder ache. Wincing, he brought his left hand to the shoulder to massage it.

“...The hell?” Mike asked himself as he felt his shoulder. “Who bandaged me up? Oh, right, probably **Him**.” He sat there for a few minutes, letting himself properly wake up. “Alright, where am I?”

Mike felt around him with his left hand, being unable to lift his right. He was surrounded by a hard surface of some kind, as if in a large, wooden box.

Wondering if he had any of his stuff, Mike stuck his hand in his pocket, but all he found were a few fridge magnets and the keys to his apartment. Before he had time to swear and blame his situation on someone else, the box opened from the top, letting in a small amount of light.

The Puppet peered in, grinning maniacally.

Mike sighed.

“Okay,” he said, “on a scale of one to ten; how screwed am I?” The Puppet’s grin seemed to somehow grow bigger.

“You’re totally boned~!” It sang happily. Mike sighed again, more deeply this time.

“Why did you treat my wound?” He asked, knowing he was too weak to fight.

“I couldn’t let you die~!” It continued singing. “Not before I sacrifice you to the Dark Lord~! Now, come~!” The Puppet raised its ‘arms’ and Mike was magically lifted out of the box and set on the ground. “We must begin the ritual~!”

“Shit!” Shouted Mike. “More ghost powers?!”

“Yes~!” The Puppet replied. “And soon they will be stronger~! After I feed your soul to the Dark Lord~!”

As Mike freaked out and the Puppet laughed, neither of them noticed a yellow Freddy plushy mysteriously disappear from the nearby prize counter.

* * *

 

Freddy and his ‘friends’ were walking through the city streets, following the body of **Him** gently floating in front of them.

Suddenly, **His** head spun one hundred and eighty degrees to face them.

“We need to hurry, Babes,” **He** told them. “The Marionette has Mike.”

“Harold?” Foxy asked. “I hate tha’ arsehole!”

“What’s he doing with him?” Freddy asked, ignoring Foxy.

“He’s going to sacrifice him to further his ghost powers,” **He** replied. “It’ll be enough for him to escape.”

“For the last time,” Freddy growled, “we don’t have any damn ghost powers!”

“Babe, you’re seeing me do this and you _still_ don’t believe?”

“But _you’re_ different! _You’re_ an _actual_ ghost! We’re just haunting robots! You’re nothing like us _or_ Harold!” Freddy slapped Bonnie out of anger.

“Careful, Freddy!” Exclaimed Chica. “You almost slapped the talking ghost power away!” Freddy replied by punching her in the robo-gut.

“We’re more similar than you’d think, Babe,” **He** continued. “I used to be more grounded than _all_ of you combined.”

“Bullshit,” Freddy muttered.

“But that’s not important right now. We need to hurry; Harold’s an asshole and I don’t wanna see him on a regular basis.”

Freddy sighed.

“ _Fine_.”

They picked up the pace.

* * *

 

Toy Bonnie and Toy Chica were dragging Mike by the arms towards the spare parts room. A small part of Mike appreciated the humor of coming full circle, but the rest of him was too distracted kicking and screaming.

“I’m a little sad that you broke a couple of my puppets,” the Puppet sang, “but I have plenty more~! They aren’t too hard to fix, either~!” It pushed its ‘hands’ forward violently as they reached the spare parts room and the door was blasted off its hinges.

In the middle of the room was a circle of seemingly random letters, ten in total, repeating over and over; R, W, Q, F, S, F, A, S, X and C. Around the outside of the circle were different spare heads, all facing inward. Mike was thrown into the middle of the circle.

“There’s no way for you to survive tonight, Mr night guard~!” The Puppet continued to sing. “I’ve seen _all_ of your tricks~! Now you have _no_ crowbar, _no_ light and _no_ taser~!”

“It’s a stun gun, moron!” Shouted Mike, just barely gathering his composure. The Puppet giggled.

“No matter~! It changes nothing~! You’ll die here either way~!”

“You’re wrong!” Mike continued to shout, shakily rising to his feet. “I’ve faced worse than you for almost a full week and only lost a _few_ body parts! I’m _not_ dying here!”

The Puppet chuckled before clicking its ‘fingers’. Toy Bonnie and Toy Chica walked towards Mike to restrain him.

Mike suddenly threw a fridge magnet at each of them. The magnets stuck to their bodies and they suddenly froze, their circuits scrambled. Mike dashed forward, pushing the Puppet over and flying through the doorway.

With a small chuckle from the Puppet, however, Mike was thrown back into the room and crashed into a wall headfirst. He slid to the ground, unconscious and possibly sustaining brain damage.

“Ah, and once again you are unconscious~!” The Puppet sang. “I would prefer to sacrifice you while awake, but I guess this shall do~!”

After taking a few minutes to get the two Toy animatronics back to working order, the Puppet snapped its ‘fingers’ and they picked up Mike again and dropped him back within the circle.

Reaching into its own shadow, the Puppet pulled out an old, rusty kitchen knife. It ran the knife across its own face, breathing in deeply.

“Oh, sweet memories~!” The Puppet sang. “This knife has history, you know~!” It sang to Mike, as if he could hear. “ _All_ of the ‘friends’ you’ve made were all affected by this very knife~! Isn’t that _fascinating_ ~?!”

“Not all of them,” **He** replied. The Puppet gasped and turned around. If its face were capable of movement, its smile would melt into a grimace of rage.

“ **_You_ ** …” It growled, no longer singing.

“Yep, **Me** .” **He** sat slumped in the doorway, unmoving. “Gotta ask you to not kill him, Babe, **I** need him for something.” The Puppet tutted.

“The last time **You** asked me to not do something, I ignored **You** ,” it started, ”yet it turned out to be _wonderful_. Why should I do any different this time?”

“Last time was different,” **He** argued, “you forced them to haunt those animatronics rather than move on. They didn’t need to be trapped here, you were already hunting him down. There’s nothing wonderful about that.”

“ **You** always go on about how we stay for specific reasons, and yet **You** yourself are a huge piece of evidence to the contrary. If we all stayed for revenge, why are **_You_ ** still here?”

 **He** didn’t answer.

“That’s what I _thought_ .” It spat. “Now, if **You** ’ll excuse me, I have a sacrifice to deliver.” It turned back to the circle, only to see Mike missing. The Puppet screamed and spun back to **Him**. “What have **You** done?! Where is he?!”

“With someone you desperately lack, Babe,” **He** replied. “A friend.”

* * *

 

Foxy sprinted back towards the guard’s office, carrying the still unconscious Mike over his shoulder.

“It’s alrigh’, matey!” He cried happily. “I’ve got ye!”

“Hurry up, Foxy,” said Freddy over the intercom, “we need to get Mike out of here as soon as we can. **He** said that Harold is tied to this place and can’t escape without increasing his…” Freddy sighed, “ _ghost powers_.”

“Aye aye, cap’n!” Foxy shouted. Suddenly, as he reached a corner, a somewhat damaged Toy Freddy leapt out of the shadows and shoved him to the ground. As Foxy hit the ground he dropped Mike, who went rolling across the floor.

Foxy jumped back to his feet, drew his cutlass and slashed at Toy Freddy. Somehow, against all odds, Toy Freddy managed to parry the sword with its microphone prop.

“What?!” Shouted Foxy. He slashed again, from the other side this time, but the same thing happened. “This be balderdash!” Toy Freddy’s face morphed until it became the Puppet’s.

“You’ll have to do better than that~!” It sang. Foxy roared and rushed into a flurry of attacks for a solid twenty minutes, but not a single one of them hit. “And you call yourself a pirate~?” The Puppet tutted, taunting him. Foxy growled.

“Gonna need some help with this one, Freddy!” He called out.

“Way ahead of you,” Freddy replied from the intercom. Chica skipped around the corner, stopping when she saw Foxy and Toy Freddy fighting.

“For Jenga!” She cried before jumping into the fight-

-Only to be blocked by Toy Chica.

“Not now, not-me!” She exclaimed. “I’ve gotta help Foxy!” Toy Chica responded by grabbing Chica by the broken jaw and smashing her head into the wall. “BAD ME!” She yelled, before slapping it hard enough to send it crashing to the ground.

“Dammit!” Shouted Freddy. “Bonnie, get in there as well!”

“For more Jenga!” Bonnie cried, falling out of a suspended vent…

...Right onto Toy Bonnie who’d slipped into the battleground.

It was all-out chaos as all six animatronics fought and Freddy could barely look at the screen out of embarrassment of how stupid his ‘friends’ were being. He sighed.

“Always down to me to sort shit out…” Freddy mumbled before standing from the desk. He began walking to the hallway, when suddenly-!

 

**_ZAP!_ **

 

Freddy screamed as the stun gun was jammed into the back of his leg. His servos locked up and he fell to the ground.

* * *

 

It looked like a bomb had been set off in the parts and services room; everything was charred and black, there were small craters all over the place and a couple of small fires had started.

 **He** and the Puppet were in the middle of the room, one standing and one slumped as ever.

“It’s six in the morning,” said the Puppet.

“It sure is, Babe,” **He** replied.

“Then it seems we’re at an impasse. I can’t use my powers in the day and **Your** _‘soldiers’_ can’t stay active.”

“So what do you propose, Babe?”

“We continue this tomorrow. Winner takes all. **You** ’re too _nice_ to do anything while I’m dormant anyway.”

“Fair enough, Babe. We finish this tomorrow.”

“See **You** at midnight.”

Without another word to one another, the Puppet melted into shadow and **He** Hokey Pokeyed into the spectral realm.

* * *

Meanwhile, Mike was drooling into the carpet, still unconscious.


	9. Night 9 - Holy Schmidt

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**Click.**

 

_ “Hello, hello?” _ Began the phone.  _ ”Um, this is just a reminder of company policy concerning the safe room. The safe room is reserved for equipment and/or other property not being currently used and is in fact a safety location for employees only.” _

Mike woke up, groaning as a wave of tinnitus hit him like a kick to the head. He opened his eyes to see that he was in a small room. There was just barely enough light to see.

Across the room from him, Mike could make out the vague shape of a bear animatronic. It took Mike a few seconds to register how it was sitting.

“Oh,” he managed to say, “it’s  **You** . What happened? Where am I?”

_ “This is not a break room,” _ the phone continued,  _ ”and should not be considered a place for employees to hide and/or congregate - and under no circumstance should a customer ever be taken into this room and out of the main show-” _

The near figure clenched its paw into a fist and the nearby phone burst into an explosion of sparks. Slowly, the figure stood, giving Mike a better view. Its body was a deep purple, with eyes as dark as Mike’s home thanks to the electric bill he hadn’t been able to pay due to him dicking around with ghosts for a few days rather than going home and being a responsible adult.

Slowly, the bear faded from existence revealing a message scratched into the wall behind it:

 

**_GET OUT._ **

 

“Seems like pretty fair advice,” Mike muttered. “I really need to pay that electric bill anyway.”

* * *

 

Foxy was the first to awaken. He stood up, not immediately recognising his surroundings.

“Wai’ a bloody fuckin' crappy extra crunchy shit my pants minute!” Foxy suddenly exclaimed to absolutely nobody but himself. “This be th’ ol’ parts n’ services room! Where they used to store us after tha’ arsehole stuck a knife in me bloody chest!”

Setting his uncovered robo-eye into night vision mode, Foxy had a better look around the room and saw all of his friends, Freddy, Bonnie and Chica, but saw no sign of Mike.

“Ah!” Foxy shouted. “Mike! Where is ‘e?!” He dashed around the room, searching every nook and cranny. As he searched, Freddy’s systems reactivated and he woke up.

Freddy groaned and rubbed his robo-jaw, now unwillingly hanging open.

“Foxy?” Freddy asked. “What are you doing? Where are we?”

“Freddy!” Foxy cried happily, dashing over to him. “Gimme a cuddle, ye fluffy bastard!” Freddy grabbed Foxy before he has a chance to start cuddling and threw him across the room into a pile of spare parts.

“Piss off, I’m in too bad a shape to deal with your shit.” Freddy angrily mumbled as he stood up. He did a quick inspection of himself: His fur was torn, his jaw was damaged, his servos were stiff and wires were hanging out of various parts all over him. “Ah, shit… Hope Fazbear Entertainment can hire a good mechanic…”

As Freddy continued to grope himself and Foxy pulled himself out of the junk, Bonnie and Chica regained consciousness.

“Holy smokes!” Chica began. “That other me really-!”

“No, shut up,” Freddy interrupted, “I don’t have time for your shit tonight. We need to find Mike and get back to our establishment before that dickhead Harold has a chance to sacrifice him. Now, what did we learn from yesterday?”

“Uh… Harold can posses them thar newer designs of us?” Suggested Foxy. Freddy nodded.

“Yes. He only seems to have the core three redesigned Freddy Fazbear characters, but there’s someone else…  _ Something _ else…”

“Oliver Queen?” Said Bonnie. Freddy slapped him.

“Something attacked me last night in the office. It must’ve come in through the vents because I didn’t see anything in the hallway.”

“Could it have been that…  _ thing _ that was supposed to replace me?” Asked Foxy.

“I don’t think so, whatever it was had prehensile limbs and opposable thumbs; it used Schmidt’s stun gun. We need to be careful of whatever it was.

“Also, any pizza still left here will have either rotten too much or will have been eaten by rats, so we can’t resummon  **Him** for help. I’ve never seen  **Him** appear without being summoned, but maybe  **He** can and I’ve just never seen it. Either way, I doubt we’ll have  **His** help tonight.

“Finally, the plan: We don’t know much about the extent of Harold’s powers but it’s possible that he can only possess things in a small area. If so, it’ll be best if we split up. Bonnie and Chica will search for Mike while Foxy and I try to fight Harold. If we both go after his actual self, maybe we can stop him from possessing anything in the first place.”

“What do we do if we find Mark?” Asked Chica.

“His name’s Mike. When you manage to find him, go back to the guard’s office and let us know over the intercom. We’ll try to get back to you and then we’ll all leave through the secret entrance. If Harold sends the animatronics after you, try to keep the fight there while we get to you. Everyone clear on what to do?”

Everyone exclaimed various forms of affirmation before the two teams left the room.

* * *

 

Mike crept through the shadows of the building, heading towards the bathrooms rather than the secret entrance in the security office in the hopes that the water hadn’t been shut off. Believe it or not, not eating or drinking for over twenty four hours is rather unpleasant.

Though his legs felt like they could give out at any moment, Mike knew that walking was his only option: His right shoulder was still cut deeply, though the bleeding had, for the most part, stopped. Most of his body was bruised, but his arms especially so. The only other option other than walking would be to drag himself along with his left arm, which would be especially difficult with only four fingers. It was because of these injuries, plus a few cracked ribs and a concussion, that he was ready to go home.

Mike reached the male toilets and entered through the ‘modern’ doorless doorway. Not wasting his energy on a snide remark, he turned the handle of the faucet on the nearest sink and, miraculously, water began trickling out. It was grimy and disgusting, but Mike drank it all the same.

After drinking for long time, Mike took a deep breath, pulled his ninja mask out of his pocket and put it on.

“Alright,” he said to himself, “time to escape.”

* * *

 

The puppet slowly reformed from shadow as Freddy and Foxy marched into the ‘Prize Corner’ room of the pizzeria.

“Ohohoho~!” The puppet chortled as Foxy drew his sword. “I have a welcoming committee~?! What’s the special occasion~?!”

“Fuck off back to ghost-land, Harold!” Freddy shouted, grabbing the puppet by the neck and cracking its head against the counter. He then threw it towards Foxy who exclaimed something dramatic and crudely hit it with his cutlass.

The puppet fell to the ground in a crumpled heap.

“Was tha’ it?” Asked Foxy.

“Obviously not, you moron!” Freddy replied, kicking him in his robo-balls. “He hasn’t even done his dramatic reveal of how strong his so-called ‘ghost powers’ are!”

“Are you sure ‘e’s gonna do tha’, matey?” Foxy asked as he climbed to his feet, glad he didn’t have actual balls for Freddy to kick. “‘E looks like ‘e’s pretty much dealt with.” Foxy gestured to the pathetic, lifeless form of Harold.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” A few seconds passed. “Wait for it...”

“Ya know, we coul’ jus-”

“No, we’re waiting.” A minute passed.

“Even if ‘e truly is fakin’ it, why don’ we jus’ finish him now?”

“Because then he’ll suddenly jump up and blast us with his ‘ _ ghost powers _ ’ and suddenly he’ll be very difficult to fight. We’re not feeding that cliché; it’s predictable and boring.”

“So… We’re jus’ gonna stand ‘ere?”

“Yes, we’re just going to stand here.”

Thirty minutes passed. Harold remained the same.

“Wha’ if ‘e can still control the robo’s?” Foxy asked. “We coul’ be wastin’ valuable time.”

“That…” Freddy sighed. “Dammit, we can’t take that risk, can we? Alright fine,  _ let’s see if he’s actually finished! _ ”

Freddy and Foxy each took a step towards Harold and, by a  _ huge _ surprise to both of them, Harold leapt to his ‘feet’ and blasted them backwards with his ghost powers. Foxy was knocked onto his back, but Freddy, being a fat asshole, stayed on his feet.

“Oh,  _ what a surprise! _ ” Exclaimed Freddy. “ _ He wasn’t actually done for? Who would’ve guessed?! _ ”

“It’s true~!” The puppet sang. “I’m much tougher than I-!”

“ _ Oh, what horror! ‘Tis a surprise I never thought I would see; Sir Harold still wakes! _ ”

“Yes, yes, okay, we all get it,” said the puppet, no longer singing. “Now then, shall we-?”

“ _ WHEREFORE ART THOU STILL STANDING?! A HORROR BY ANY CONSCIOUS STATE, THOUGH AWAKE MORE SO THAN NOT AS I-! _ ”

“Goddammit, you’re such an asshole,” interrupted the puppet. “I mean; I get already. You  _ know _ I get it, you’re just doing this to be an unlikable, pretentious douchebag at this point. Just stop.”

There was a short silence.

**_“OH, BUT WHY?! WHY MUST I CAST SUCH AN INSULT TO THEE, TO EXPECT SO LITTLE FROM-?!”_ **

“SILENCE!” The puppet screamed. It pulled the sacrificial blade out of the shadows and leapt at Freddy, ready to slash the stuffing out of him.

In an instant, however, Freddy had grabbed Harold by the neck once again and slammed him against the wall behind him, holding it a metre off of the ground.

“W-What?!” The puppet choked. “How the hell did you react fast enough to stop my attack?!”

“I’m Freddy fucking Fazbear, you simple minded plebeian-”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“-And I’m about to beat some originality into your unintelligent- AGH!” Freddy looked down to see a cutlass sticking through his belly from the back. He looked behind him to see Foxy with the face of the puppet, laughing as he held the handle of the sword.

“How will you fight me now~?!” The puppet sang from both faces. “Are you willing to hurt your friends just to~-?!”

Freddy punched his fist into Foxy’s body, tore out his endoskeleton’s spine and impaled him in his non-eyepatched eye.

“JESUS CHRIST!” Screamed the puppet as Foxy’s limp body fell to the floor.

“You think  _ you’ve _ given Mike a tough week?” Freddy asked. “Lemme show you some of the shit  _ I _ put him through.”

* * *

 

Bonnie and Chica wandered the halls of the pizzeria, calling out random names in a poor attempt to get Mike’s attention. It didn’t take long for Mike to hear them and realise it was him they were looking for.

Unfortunately for Mike, he was missing some key information.

Mike glanced around the corner of the hallway to see Bonnie and Chica heading towards the office.

“Shit,” he muttered, “shit, shit, shit… Dammit, I should’ve known that the haunted murderbots would track me down.” He took a deep breath and sighed before making a mental list of his current possessions:

A single fridge magnet, the keys to his apartment and his ninja mask, which he was currently wearing.

“Not exactly anything that makes me happy,” Mike continued muttering, “if only I had a wheelbarrow,  _ that  _ would be something…” He continued to sit there for about a minute, trying desperately to think of  _ some  _ way to get past them, when he suddenly heard sparks and a cry of pain.

Looking around the corner again, he saw both of the bumbling buffoons being beaten by a bantam being.

“Nice alliteration, me,” Mike congratulated himself. “Now if only I knew what bantam meant…”

“Bantam means small, babe,”  **He** said, Hokey Pokey-ing into existence next to Mike. “It can also be used to describe chickens.”

“ **Y-You** !” Whisper-shouted Mike (after almost crapping his pants).

“Yep,  **Me** , babe,”  **He** replied casually.

“Where the  _ hell _ have  **_You_ ** been?!”

“Bringing the cavalry: The babes from your old workspace came to help you.”

“Wait,  _ what _ ?!”

“Look, babe, there’s no time for  **Me** to explain; Fred’s about to be sacrificed to the Dark Lord.”

There was a moment of silence. Mike blinked.

“Excuse me?”

“The Dark Lord is the being that gave Harold and  **Me Our** ghost powers. Unfortunately, he feeds on spirits, so being dead won’t be enough to save Fred.”

“What the hell has my life become?”

“ **I** ’m not gonna have time to deal with that guy down the hallway who took out stumpy and feathers, but  **I** can help you in other ways.”

“All I wanted was a paying job.”

“Hold still, babe.”

“This work is officially above my paygrade.”

**He** held up his hands and sprayed Mike with ghostly yellow liquid. Mike felt the pain from his wounds, as well as his awful hunger, fade somewhat.

“I… I feel a little better,” Mike observed aloud. “But I’m still in no shape to fight…  _ whatever _ that is. It has my stun gun.”

“Yeah,”  **He** replied, “but you have  _ this _ .”  **He** tossed Mike one of his trusty crowbars. “ **I** could only carry one into the spectral realm, unfortunately. Your other’s in the office.”

“I… Thank  **You** ,” said Mike. “I think I might actually have a chance to get out now.”

“ **I** ’m, not the only one who helped you tonight, babe. Keep that in mind.” Without saying another word,  **He** did the Hokey Pokey and slipped into the spectral realm.

Mike stood up, but winced in pain when he tried to lift his crowbar.

“Damn, my right shoulder’s still too hurt to use properly,” he muttered to himself as he switched hands. “Good thing I’m ambidextrous.”

Mike took another deep breath before running down the hallway. He jumped over the bodies of Bonnie and Chica and landed into a forward roll. The entire manoeuvre was pointless and only hurt his shoulder more.

A high pitched laughing began behind Mike, but he saw nothing when he spun around towards it.

A few seconds of silence passed.

Suddenly, Mike heard the sparking of his stun gun behind him. He spun back around and swung his crowbar, smacking the stun gun out of the hands of a childlike animatronic, ‘dressed’ in a blue and red shirt with a matching cap.

“Oh for-! How many damn animatronic characters does that shitty company  _ need _ ?!” Mike shouted out of frustration. “Not only do they have  _ two _ groups of what are basically the same characters, but they  _ both _ have ghostly leaders/mentors! Don’t get too excited yet, kids! Now we have another bastard animatronic to distract how drunk and unloving your parents are!”

“Wow,” said the animatronic boy, “you have some serious issues.”

“Fuck you! I’m done being the goddamn victim in this goddamn health inspector’s nightmare!” Mike smacked the boy with his crowbar, smashing one of his eyes and sending him to the floor.

“Agh!” The boy cried out. “What the fuck, you psychotic asshole?! You don’t hold back violence against a child?! What is  _ wrong _ with you?!”

“I GOT A JOB AT FREDDY FUCKIN’ FAZBEAR’S,  _ THAT’S _ THE PROBLEM!” Mike kicked at the boy, but the boy rolled out of the way.

The boy dived past Mike, who had taken another swing of his crowbar, and landed in the office. He grabbed the second crowbar off of the ground and whacked Mike in the shins. Mike spat obscenities and stumbled, but managed to stay standing.

Mike swung again, but the boy deflected Mike’s crowbar with his own and jabbed toward Mike’s tenders. Mike dodged backwards before grabbing the boy’s crowbar and pulling hard, making the boy stumble forward. With the boy momentarily stunned, Mike swung downwards and hit the back of the boy’s head, cracking his casing slightly and knocking him down completely. Throwing his crowbar aside, Mike grabbed the boy by the legs, swung him hard and slammed his head into the side of the doorway, smashing his head wide open. The boy’s mangled robo-body fell to the ground, otherwise motionless.

Mike spat on his body before collecting his belongings. He walked towards the secret exit but stopped when he remembered what  **He** had said.

Mike sighed before turning around and heading back into the depths of the pizzeria.

* * *

 

The puppet, being held up against a wall by Freddy, quickly raised its hands and blasted Freddy to the other side of the room with its ghostly powers. It quickly scooped up its knife and dashed towards Freddy.

The puppet slashed Freddy’s face, making a gash. Before Freddy had time to react, the puppet raised its free hand and Freddy was lifted up against the wall, held there by a telekinetic force.

“Enough fucking around,” it spat. “Be consumed by the Dark Lord!” It went to bury its dagger into Freddy’s face, when, suddenly, a crowbar whacked into its head, knocking it down. “Dammit, what now?!”

Before it could get up, the puppet was suddenly encased in a sphere of golden energy. Freddy fell to the ground as the power was blocked.

“Hurry up and get out of here, babes,”  **He** ordered. “ **I** can keep Harold trapped in this for a short time, but it’ll escape soon enough.”

“Let me out of here,  **You** bastard!” Harold snarled, beating his ‘fists’ against the spheres prison.

Mike pulled the sword out of Freddy’s back and threw it aside before offering to help him up.

“Come on, bear guy,” said Mike, “we need to get out of here.” Freddy waited for a moment before taking his hand. After Mike helped him up, Freddy grabbed the unmoving body of Foxy and followed Mike back towards the office.

Upon seeing the bodies of Bonnie and Chica, Freddy grabbed them by one of their feet on each hand (with Foxy over one of his shoulders). Freddy and Mike exited through the secret hole.

“Thanks, asshole,” thanked Freddy. “You saved me five minutes.”

“You’re welcome, you fuckface,” replied Mike. “So why the hell did you rescue me?” Freddy sighed.

“We keep killing guards and people are starting to notice. If we have a guard there they’ll probably leave us alone.”

“That’s a shit plan.”

“Fuck you. Will you do it?”

“Will I get paid?”

“Only as much as before.”

Mike sighed.

“Fine. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go pay my electric bill. And then go to a hospital.”

* * *

 

Meanwhile, back inside the pizzeria…

“Damn  **You** !” Screamed Harold. “ **You** ’ve cursed me to another lifetime trapped in this place!”

“What do you mean ‘another’?”  **He** asked. “It’s only been five years or so, babe.”

“I’m gonna find a way out of here and I’m gonna kill all of those fuckers and then  **You** !”

“Uh huh, sure. See you around, babe.”  **He** did the hokey pokey and vanished, making the sphere disappear along with him.

“I swear to the Dark Lord, I WILL GET OUT OF HERE!” Harold bellowed, his voice echoing through the now empty pizzeria.


	10. Night In '87

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**Click.**

 

The phone next to Mike’s hospital bed spewed out garbled audio and distorted words. It took Mike twenty seconds or so to realise that the phone even existed.

You see, kids, Mike had been injured very badly across the last week or so. So badly, in fact, that the doctors weren’t afraid to flood his body with  _ all _ the painkillers.

“Oh my god…” Said Mike, incredibly slowly, as he stared at the phone. “That box can  _ talk _ …”

“Boo!”  **He** shouted, jumping out of the phone. “Ah,  **I** ’m just fucking with you, Babe,  **it’s Me** !” Mike was staring off into space, drooling a lot. “ **I** ’m happy to see you too, Babe. Anyway,  **I** wanted to keep you company, so  **I** ’m gonna tell you the story of  **_the bite of ‘87_ ** !”

“I think…” Mike slurred. “I think a phone’s ringing…” The phone was not ringing. The phone had been hung up by  **Him** a long time ago.

“It’s a dramatic tale,”  **He** continued, “of a nightguard fighting for his life at a haunted pizzeria.  **I** think you’ll probably relate to it pretty well, Babe.”

“ **Piss-Stained Freddy** !” Exclaimed Mike. “What are  **You** doing here?!”

“It all happened five years ago,” began  **Piss-Stained Freddy** , “when a new nightguard by the name of Fritz Smith arrived for his first night on the job…”

* * *

 

“...Good night, and good luck,” finished the phone.

Fritz yawned and leant back in his chair.

“Protect a failing pizza restaurant from the nobody that would ever show up?” Fritz asked himself. “Easiest job in the world!” It was at that moment that Toy Bonnie chose to leap out of the right side vent and tackle him to the ground.

Screaming his lungs out, Fritz shoved his hand into his bag to grab something,  _ anything _ , to defend himself with. Luckily for him, he managed to grab his pistol and wasted no time in unloading every bullet it held into Toy Bonnie’s face.

Toy Bonnie fell to the ground, very, very destroyed.

“FUCK IT!” Fritz shouted, getting up angrily. “Fuck all of this, I’m destroying every last one of you animatronic wankers like you destroyed my childhood!” Fritz was not English, but he was insecure enough to put on a fake accent and tell people that he was.

Fritz stormed out of the office and down the hallway, gunning down Toy Freddy as he lumbered towards him.

Unknown to him, a dark figure had just climbed into the building through the secret entrance.

* * *

 

Harold the Puppet crawled out of its box, singing a nursery rhyme under its breath. After dropping onto the floor, It floated into the air and bobbed down the hallway like a duck in a pond.

“Wow~!” It cried happily. “I’m feeling so good tonight~! That pilates is really paying off~!” It headed to the kitchens for find something to eat when it noticed something strange in the kitchen - there was a rusty kitchen knife sitting on the kitchen counter opposite the kitchen doorway into the kitchen. Harold floated through the kitchen to the kitchen counter and looked at the kitchen knife. “That’s strange~! Why is this knife here in the… Um… Oh darn, I’ve forgotten the name of this room~!”

At that moment, Fritz charged into the room closely followed by Toy Freddy and Withered Freddy.

“Get back here, you squirrelly bitch!” Withered Freddy shouted, grabbing him by the scruff of his shirt. Harold was about to make a stupid comment, when It suddenly felt an all too familiar presence.

“Everyone stop!” Harold shouted, no longer singing nor happy. As It shouted, It swung Its arms out, freezing everyone with ghostly power. Harold looked straight into Freddy’s eyes. “He’s here. It’s finally time.” As Freddy realised what It had said, Harold unfroze everyone.

“Alright, listen to me,” Freddy said to the guard in his grasp. “I’m gonna make you a special offer: Someone else is in this building tonight - someone who shouldn’t be here. Kill them and we will let you live.” Fritz, who had long since shit his pants, nodded frantically.

Just before Freddy released him, Harold floated over to Fritz and tucked the rusty knife into his jacket pocket.

“Make sure they die…” It whispered.

* * *

 

The dark figure slowly walked down the hallway, whispering into a tape recorder. As they passed the bathrooms, Fritz leapt out and tackled them to the ground. He beat the figure mercilessly for a short while before pulling out his gun and taking aim at their head.

The figure pulled a strange tool out of their pocket-

* * *

“-Kinda similar to your stun gun, Babe,”  **Piss-Stained Freddy** noted-

* * *

 

-and jammed it into Fritz’s leg. Fritz screamed as blood spilled onto the floor, falling down and dropping his gun. The figure quickly stood, but foolishly stopped to pick up their tape recorder and store it in their pocket.

Why was this foolish? Because it gave Fritz time to get behind him and bury the knife into the figure’s flesh.

The figure screamed and flailed, knocking Fritz down. Fritz hit his head against a wall and fell unconscious.

* * *

 

It was dawn when he woke. Though he quickly searched the building, he found no trace of the strange figure. He had killed them, of that he was sure. Why else would the living animatronics keep him alive?

Regardless, he soon left. The next day, he received a pink slip in the mail.

* * *

 

“I’m sure you have many questions, Babe,” finished  **Piss-Stained Freddy** . “Such as; why did I say  **_the bite of ‘87_ ** if I didn’t include a ‘bite’ in the story? Who was the figure and what were they doing? Why was Harold still a fat bastard even though he did pilates?”

“I think I need to go to the hospital…” Mike slurred, drooling into his pillow.

“Well, Babe,”  **He** continued, ignoring Mike, “there are many sides to that story. Maybe one day I’ll tell you more.” With that,  **He** did the hokey-pokey and vanished.

“Where am I?” Asked Mike.


	11. Night 11 - An Old Face

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**Click.**

 

“ _ Hello? _ ” Asked the phone on the wall. “ _ Hello, hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? H-? Oh hell! _ ” There was a pause in speaking. Loud, metallic smashing could be heard in the background. “ _ Sorry about that, there was a spider. As I was saying: Hello? This is Mike Schmidt calling from… somewhere. I’m not sure where I am. _ ”

The person holding the phone didn’t reply.

“ _ Hey, asshole, I can hear you breathing! Answer me, dammit! _ ” A few seconds passed with no reply. “ _ Fuck you too, matey. Dammit, Foxy’s rubbing off on me… Look, I need help! The last thing I remember was lying in a hospital bed after a few days of fucking stupid nonsense and now I’m suddenly trapped in some weird room! It’s dark in here and there are spiders everywhere and everything’s terrible! _ ”

The person holding the phone didn’t reply.

“ _ Who even is this?! _ ”

“Wait,” the person finally replied, “how is it that you don’t know who I am? You were the one who called me.” The stranger talked with a smooth and calm voice. 

“ _ Long story; I’m using a  _ **_Piss-Stained-Robotic-Ghost-Child_ ** _ as a phone and  _ **_He_ ** _ didn’t tell me who  _ **_He_ ** _ connected me to! _ ”

“ _ That’s a rude thing to call  _ **_Me_ ** _ , Babe, _ ” said  **Another Voice** from Mike’s end.

“ _ Would someone please tell me who this quiet schmuck is?! _ ”

“...My name is Jeremy Fitzgerald.”

“ _ Jere-? Wait! _ ” Mike suddenly cried out. “ _ I read about you! You worked in that old Freddy Fazbear Pizzeria! _ ”

“You’ve heard of me,” Jeremy repeated.

“ _ No shit, you dumb fuck, I just said that. _ ”

“You’re a very rude person, Michael.”

“ _ Don’t call me that. _ ”

“Oh, you dislike it when I call you Michael?” Jeremy smirked. “Could this be because of a past trauma? Talk to me, Michael. You’ll never heal without talking to someone.”

“ _ I have a robot pirate that’ll probably kill for me, don’t push your luck. _ ”

“Fine then.” He sighed. “How do I help you?”

“ _ How should I kn-?! Oh! Wait! I know! Go to my office in the newest Freddy Fazbear Pizzeria! On the computer I started designing a program so I could track down my boss and sue him for locking me in a building with killer robots. I don’t need to do that now, the situation’s changed, but you can use it to find me! _ ”

“You’re the newest night guard,” Jeremy stated.

“ _ Stop trying to be a dramatic douche and help me already! I’ll get  _ **_Piss-Stained Freddy_ ** _ to call the office when you’re there, just get to the office, wait for the call then use the program to trace it back to me! _ ”

Jeremy paused.

“I have no incentive to help you,” he said after a while. “I don’t know you, I have no obligation to help anyone affiliated with Fazbear Entertainment and you’re honestly quite an asshole. No, I will not help you. Goodbye.” Ignoring Mike’s shouting for him to wait, Jeremy hung up.

* * *

 

“Well, shit,” said Mike, putting  **Piss-Stained Freddy’s** hand back onto  **His** body. “Can  **You** light up or something?”

“Sure,”  **He** replied as  **His** body began emitting a spooky glow. Now able to see, Mike looked around the room to try to get some idea of where he was: The room he was in was very small, around the same size as the last dark room he had woken up inside. This time, at least, it really was  **Piss-Stained Freddy** that had appeared. Other than a few derelict arcade machines, there wasn’t much to it and, unlike last time, there didn’t seem to be any way out.

“How did I even get here?” Mike asked. ”Where even  _ is _ here?”

“You’re in the Pizzeria, Babe,”  **He** replied, “but  **I** have no idea how you got here.”

“I’m in the Pizzeria?” Mike echoed. “But… where? I’ve explored all the rooms, I  _ had _ to so I could find all the hiding spots I could use, but I’ve never seen any room like this before except in the old location.  **Y** ’know, where Harold was.”

“But that’s…”  **Piss-Stained Freddy’s** whole demeanor suddenly became much more serious. “Why did you go there?”  **He** demanded. “What did you see?”

“Another ghost, looked like  **You** but black.” Mike glanced around the room again and shivered as  **He** stayed silent. “Well? Talk!”

“That’s not important now, Babe, but  **I** might have an idea of how you ended up here.”

“Well  **You** ’d better hurry the fuck up and tell m-” He stopped suddenly upon spotting the most mysterious of things: An old costume, the kind used by his dead ‘friends’, was sitting against a wall looking particularly creepy. It was yellow and, by its rabbit ears, clearly an older model of Bonnie. Unlike other costumes Mike had seen, this one was very clearly empty; it lay flat, limp and, unlike  **Piss-Stained Freddy** and the mysterious silhouetted figure he’d seen previously, its eye sockets were as small; not at all designed for animatronic eyes.

There was something…  _ wrong _ about the costume. It was as if the world was silenced when Mike looked straight at it. The cold in the room seemed to be emanating from it - or, more accurately, the heat in the room vanished in its presence.

“What’s wrong?”  **He** asked. Following Mike’s line of sight,  **He** spotted the old costume. “Oh dear. Mike, be a Babe and don’t go near that thing, would you?”

Mike ignored  **Him** and walked over to it, finding himself transfixed.

“Well, fuck it,  **I** tried.  **I** already know where this is going, may as well sit back and enjoy the goddamn fireworks.”

Mike reached out with his hand and touched the old costume.

 

**_BANG!_ **


	12. Night 12 - Burgers and Fries

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

**_Ring-ring!_ **

 

“Ugh, my head’s ringing…” Mike sat up and opened his eyes. “Where the hell am I  _ now _ ?”

Mike was in a public restroom. The design was very similar to the restroom at Freddy’s, but with a few large differences. This was clearly a male bathroom, the urinals made that obvious enough, but there was more than a single toilet stall.

There were two. It was truly a miracle to behold.

The second difference was the cleanliness of the floor and walls, both of which were decorated with black and white tiles. Freddy’s was the same, except that it hadn’t been cleaned since the building was bought. Both the floor and walls were so filthy that they had become a dull black with the texture of carpet.

“I need to find out where I am.” After stating the obvious, Mike reached into his pants and pulled out a crowbar. “Good thing I always carry a spare!” He walked over to the door, grabbed the handle and gave it a solid push. After a few minutes, Mike realised it was a pull door and left the bathroom.

The building he was in looked very reminiscent to both Freddy’s and Harold’s pizzerias. The floor was checkered, posters hung on the wall and there was an ominous lack of windows.

“Wait a minute…” Mike muttered meticulously, staring seriously at a particular poster. “That doesn’t look like a Fazbear character…”

The poster in question displayed a blue and white animatronic cat holding a microphone. From the picture, it seemed to have a similar design to the animatronics at Harold’s pizzeria - a sleek, hard plastic body, solid colours and very visible joints.

Mike, the idiot that he was, tried to poke the picture with his crowbar for no particular reason, only to cry out in pain and drop his crowbar. He looked down at his right arm.

“Shit, my shoulder’s still pretty bad.” He picked his crowbar back up, this time in his left hand. “I guess I’m left handed now.” He sighed and moodily stomped down the hallway. “Dammit, I liked being ambidextrous…”

* * *

 

Back at Freddy’s pizzeria, Bonny was freaking the fuck out.

“FREDDY, I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT!” Bonny screamed, clumsily running in circles.

“Foxy?” Freddy asked.

“Ay, cap’n?” Foxy asked back.

“Slap him.”

“Ay, cap’n.” Foxy slapped Bonny’s ass.

Freddy rested his head in his hands.

“What be wrong, cap’n?” Foxy asked. “Bad pizza? Scurvy?” As he talked, he waved his arms around in a poor attempt to emote, not noticing the chunk of Bonny’s ass stuck to his hook.

Freddy screamed in frustration.

“Arr, I see the problem ‘ere. Ye’ve plundered nah booty since ye died.”

Freddy’s head slowly rose, a look of disgust and horror plastered on his face. “We’re dead children, Foxy! None of us have  _ ever _ ‘plundered booty’!”

Bonnie snorted and rolled his eyes. “Prude.”

Freddy burst a figurative blood vessel from disgust and anger. “You know what? Fuck it. I  _ wanted  _ to talk about Mike disappearing and how it’ll affect us for the duration of this story arc, but  _ now  _ I wanna drown you. See you next chapter, readers! Bonny sure won’t!” Freddy choke-slammed Bonny through a table and into the ground before dragging him into the kitchen.

* * *

 

Mike wandered around aimlessly, sometimes walking in circles within a single room. After many hours of this, he finally found something dramatic;  _ animatronics _ !

More specifically, animatronics found him - as they tend to do.

Two cat animatronics, the one from the poster and another which looked very similar, though coloured purple. Upon seeing Mike, the two animatronics pointed at him with a single finger at him and hissed in an oh-so-very spooktastic way.

Mike sighed. “More of  _ this _ shit, huh?”

The two cats ran at Mike, but Mike simply clubbed the blue cat in the eyes with his crowbar. The blue cat fell and collided with the purple cat, giving Mike plenty of time to hide in the shadows and pull of his ninja mask (which he also kept in his pants).

While the two were distracted from his first attack, Mike prepared to jump out of the shadows but a masked figure beat him to it. The figure lunged toward the cats with a flashlight in their left hand and what looked like an electrified dagger in their right. After a quick flash from their flashlight to keep the cats stunned, the figure plunged their dagger deep into the neck of each animatronic, breaking through the hard plastic and freezing up their joints just as effectively as Mike’s stun gun. The two animatronics fell down, defeated for the night.

Mike stood up out of the shadows and shoved his crowbar back down his pants. “Thanks, but I could’ve dealt with them myself,” he bragged. “I’ve taken out  _ much _ worse monsters than-  _ Agh _ !”

The figure had taken a false swipe at Mike with the dagger to shut him up, then moved into a position ready to stab him at a moment’s notice. “ _ Who are you, _ ” the figure finally spoke, their voice distorted, “ _ and how did you get in here?! _ ”

“I don’t know how I got here!” Mike squealed. “A  **Ghost That Smells Like Piss** told me not to touch a rabbit costume and then there was an explosion and-!”

“ _ Who are you?! _ ” The figure repeated.

“My name is Mike!” Mike cried, pulling off his mask. “I’m a nightguard at Fre-!”

“Wait, Mike?” The figure spoke in their normal voice; female and somewhat light-pitched. “Mike Schmidt? Is that you?”

“Y-Yeah!”

“Huh.” The figure relaxed before pulling off her mask. Her hair and eyes were the same colour as Mike’s. “I haven’t seen you since we were kids.”

“Who are  _ you _ ?” Mike asked, not recognising her. “Are you my conscience?!”

“It’s me, you dumb fuck. Mary, your cousin?”

After a full thirty seconds, Mike finally comprehended what Mary had just said and began having flashbacks.

“Are… you okay?” Mary asked as Mike stared off into space, busy with flashbacks. “Did the animatronics hit you over the head or something?”

Mike said nothing, still flashing back.

“I’m... I’m gonna go get you a glass of water.” Mary walked off towards the kitchen.

Finally, Mike stopped having flashbacks, only to realise Mary had walked off. “Oh my god, they got Claire!” Mike poorly attempted to run in a circle, only to trip over an animatronic and crack his head on a wall.

Mary returned with a glass of water only to discover Mike’s unconscious body.

“Yeah, you haven’t changed,” she muttered under her breath.


End file.
